In his third NHL game, the New York Ranger’s Chris Kreider scored on Ottawa’s Craig Anderson, which is impressive for a number of reasons. One, Kreider broke into the NHL in perhaps the fiercest first round playoff match this season.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Monthly Archives: April 2012
Right off the bat it doesn’t look like David Backes had a bad season: 24G/30A/17PPP/+15/101PIM/234SOG…. Well actually, on second glance, that is a pretty good season… “Why do you hate David Backes?” I don’t hate David Backes VTB. In fact I’m not even sure why I thought my preseason “bust” prediction for him was accurate…. Aaaahhh, I see. Here is what I wrote: “I still like St.
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Scott Hartnell had a magical season for the 2011-2012 Philadelphia Flyers. I won’t wax poetic (by the way, WTF is the meaning of “waxing poetic”? And don’t Google it either. HA! SEE! You don’t know what it mean’s either!) But back to my point, Hartnell was one of my preseason heart-throbs and I have to say after 6 months I’m ready to tie the knot… 37 Goals, 30 Assists, +19, 23 Power Play Points, 232 Shots and 136 Penalty Minutes… Now that’s what I call fillin’ up the stat sheet. It’s also what I call a career year. If Scott Hartnell ever gets anywhere near 37 Goals and 23 Power Play Points in a season again I’ll eat my sock. (And trust me if you saw my feet you’d know how serious a statement that is). But now is not the time to prognosticate. Now is the time to praise those select few who will not only score a Goal on you, but also beat you to within an inch of your life… Here are your 2011-2012 Hartnell’s Heroes:
Steve Ott – C/LW (Dal): I initially didn’t want to talk about Ott (I thought he was in line for a career year), but all things considered Ott deserves to be on this prestigious list. 156PIM’s was good for 6th in the NHL and tack on the 11 Goals, 28 Assists, +5, and 8PPP”s and you have a productive fantasy contributor… I just hope Steve-O doesn’t hurt himself doing some ridiculous stunt in the offseason…
David Clarkson – RW (NJ): Career Goals prior to this season: 52 in 300 Games… Goals this year: 30 in 80 Games. So what do I mean by that you ask? “David Clarkson has seen the light! The New Jersey Devils nurtured him for 5 season’s and now he is bearing fruit!” Yeah sure, that works. I know I don’t say this often, but that was some quality analysis VTB…
Milan Lucic – LW (Bos): If I were a Bawstin native I’m sure this guy would’ve had top billing, but thankfully I’ve only spent 7 days of my 30 years of existence in bean-town. And believe me I love the City, but every sports fan in Boston thinks they are Gawd’s gift to fandom. Well from my experience I can tell you that outside of Boston Sports, they know very little. Go to a Red Sox game and ask Sully who the Shortstop for the Rockies is and he’ll start talking about how the Red Sox haven’t had a Shortstop since NOMAAAR left a decade ago. Bring up Wayne Gretzky and you get a puzzled look followed by a dissertation on Bobby Orr’s greatness… But then again, maybe that’s what makes Bawstin sports fans so great. They are to the sports world what the Tea Party is to the political world…
Steve Downie – LW/RW (Col): It was the Summer of 2010. I was courting Steve Downie pretty aggressively despite the restraining orders. The 22 year old was coming off a 22 Goal, 24 Assist, 11Power Play Point, 208 Penalty Minute season. Then the next season happened. And then this season happened. And now all I know is that sh*t happens and I’m down on Downie…
Nick Foligno – LW (Ott): Our first new entrant onto this list came out of nowhere with 124 Penalty Minutes and 47 Points. At first glance I’m not buying it, and at 2nd glance it looks like someone spray-painted “fluke” over his Wikipedia page…
Wayne Simmonds – RW (Phi): Simmonds, Sealy, Serta, Spring Air, Stern’s & Foster, Chatham & Wells, and Miralux mattresses! All at discounted prices! We’ll beat anyone’s advertised price or your matress is ……………..
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Back in September I decided to throw out some deep sleepers and write glowingly about their potential to surprise us all. Turns out only 2 of the 8 decided to wake up this season. That’s an accuracy of 25%, which coincidentally is the exact same odds of getting a correct answer on a multiple-choice question. (Wow that really made it sound bad didn’t it?) But it really isn’t that bad so let me defend my much younger self: These were guys I was advising taking as a late-round flier. Not dudes you should build your team around. Hopefully if you ended up drafting, say, Andrew Cogliano you dropped him shortly after realizing he still sucks (which was somewhere around the 3rd period of the Ducks 1st game for me). Judging by the players I chose it seems I’m a sucker for former 1st Round NHL draft picks. (Dually noted… wait, dooley? Duelie? Dooly?). Next year I put more emphasis on opportunity, line-mates, and the potential to see time on the Power Play…. Seriously though, Cogliano? Must have been back before I quit sniffin’ glue…
Anthony Stewart – RW (Car): Wow and here I thought Cogliano was the really big terd in this punch bowl… Jeez. 20 Points in 77 Games? 64 Shots on Goal? Not to be a dick about it, but that’s less than a shot per game. You could freeze a stick in an upright position 15 feet from the net and get more Shots than that.
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The gloating about my best preseason picks will happen sometime in the next couple days, but tonight I feel like talking about hockey, non fantasy division. It’s going to be a great playoffs and Danny Briere and the Philadelphia Phlyers got it started in grand fashion. For those new to playoff hockey I will let you in on a secret: Danny Briere is a man amongst boys from April to June. In his playoff career, Briere has 44 Goals and 54 Assists in 98 Games. If you who failed addition in grade school, that’s exactly 1 Point Per Game. In the regular season? 643 Points in 813 games, or 0.79 Points Per Game. “He’s the Derek Jeter of hockey!” Yes thank you VTB… And in typical Derek Jeter fashion, Briere “sparked” his team with back to back Goals after Pittsburgh took a 3-0 lead. If you’re a Penguin fan it’s time to start worrying. The Flyers have underachieved all season and if Breezy can just be average, Philly is capable of beating anyone in the Eastern Conference. In fact I find the whole “Western Conference is WIDE OPEN!” media talking point to be a joke. The East is just as wide open, if not more. Would any of you really be shocked if the #5 Seed Flyers or #7 seed Capitals made the Stanley Cup Finals? And don’t give me the Goalie argument. The Flyers made the Cup Finals just 2 years ago with a blahtoon of Michael Leighton and Brian Boucher. Let me say that again in case it didn’t register for you: MICHAEL LEIGHTON and BRIAN BOUCHER. Playoff experience for a Goalie is highly overrated (Antti Niemi was the other Goalie in that 2010 Stanley Cup Final). So since we’ve established that point, let me add another one: The Flyers are one of 2 or 3 teams in the entire league who can keep pace with Pittsburgh offensively. Be afraid Penguin fans, be very afraid…
Nashville Predators – Since they won yesterday and I wrote about these guys so eloquently (word of the day) on Monday I will just remind you of what I said: “Outside of Pekka Rinne and Shea Weber, this team doesn’t have alot to offer to us fantasy geeks. But if these guys can get past Detroit I like their chances of winning the Western Conference. And right now, they’re a 22:1 underdog to win the Stanley Cup. I can see it now: Barry Trotz’s awkard post-game speech; Gary Bettmann awarding the championship to a team he knows just got him the worst TV ratings in 25 years; the completely unknown Owner; and of course Fisher-Wood taking it to a whole ‘nother level…” I’m excited just thinking about it! Go Preds!!!
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Today we look at some of my worst prognostications from 7 months ago. The list is long and pretty damning, but then again I’m not a professional prognosticator – I just play one on this blog! HIIIOOOOOOOO!!! Ahem… Lets just get started shall we? My first guest today…errr… disappointment is none other than Sid the concussed Kid. I’m sure many of you are thinking: “It was stupid to rank him #6 overall when he was still dealing with concussion issues back in September!” And you’d be right. Aren’t you a smart guy! But in my defense, or D-IIII if you’re in the stands at a football game, it’d been over 6 months since his last concussion and when I was growing up, the remedy for a concussion was to shake your head back & forth and sniff a few smelling salts. Then if you could recognize the 2 fingers the Coach was holding up, you were cured!! No year long breaks spent “recovering”. No worrying about getting “dizzy” or not being able to go outside in the day because of ”light” from the “sun”. You can act like a man!
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The regular season is over, which means the fantasy hockey season is over too. Sure there are a few degenerates who will be playing in a playoff fantasy but odds are if you’re NHL team is out of it, this is the last you’ll be hearing/thinking/caring about hockey for at least 3 months. Well I am here to change that! You’ll care dammit!!! “You must learn to control your anger! The negative energy you are feeling must be channeled into positive flow!” Okay you make a good point VTB. Where are you when my daughter decides it’s time to take every single toy out of her bin and hand them to me?? As far as hockey is concerned I have to admit I’m not looking forward to grading my pre-season picks. Sure I hit on a few (Stamkos, Giroux, Scott Hartnell), but the littany of mistakes rivals those of the Nixon Administration. I’ll be going through the gory details this week before turning the page and trying all over again. But for now, lets sum up the final weekend of 2011-2012 fantasy hockey season…
Steven Stamkos – C (TB): 60. SIXTY F-ING GOALS. No disrespect to the greats of the past, but outside of Wayne Gretzky’s 92 Goals twenty years ago I dare you to find a more impressive season (relative to his peers). Only 1 other guy got to 50 this year, and only 3 others topped 40. Stamkos had 19 more Goals than the guy in 3rd place… Now I’m not gonna tell you he’s the slam dunk top player for next year, but when you factor in age and injury history it’s hard to argue Geno over the SS Officer…
Teddy Purcell – C/RW (TB): Ha-ha-ha-hat trick!!! Ol’ Teddy established himself this year as and was easily one of the top Waiver Wire All Stars on the season. 24G/41A/+9/19PPP’s. Move aside Mike Fisher, there’s a new WWAS starting at Center this year…
Roberto Luongo – G (Van): Is it possible to give 1/2 Shutout? I mean seriously 15 Shots in the game Edmonton??? I’ve heard of mailing it in, but when these guys call you out for giving up it’s time to consider changing something in your organization.
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Believe me I’m fully aware of the playoff races going on right now, but my team is out so I’m not exactly wrapped up in it. What I am wrapped up in is a certain 5’7″ Right Winger for the Colombus Blue Jackets. I’m a vertically challenged guy myself so I tend to gravitate towards men of my ilk. And yesterday that gravitational pull lead me to Cam Atkinson, the 67 inch wonder of the NHL… Okay that’s probably exaggerating (exagerrating?
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I always used to watch the Price is Right whenever I would stay home sick from school. Something about a bunch of random idiots winning prizes just hits a chord with me. Or is it strikes a nerve? Ah it’s not important. What is important is that Carey Price’s season is officially over. Blame the nasty “C” word or the awfulness that is the Montreal Canadians, they’re both equally to blame. I thought the Price would be right in 2012, but instead I’m the guy who bid $1200 only to watch in horror as the last guy bids $1201….
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I was all prepared to write the eulogy for the 2011-2012 Buffalo Sabres. The last score I saw before writing this was 3-0 Leafs in the 2nd Period. I had the title all lined up and everything: ‘Buffalo Scat’. But then the Leafs (perhaps acquiesing to the Toronto fan base who want a higher draft pick), decided to cough up not only a 3-0 lead, but also leads of 4-2 and 5-3. Derek Roy, in what has otherwise been a cesspool of a season, decided to show up and notch the game winner. Too bad it means nothing to me, scoring game winning Goals against the Leafs is about as difficult as saying yes to sex with Kate Upton… Mmmmm, Kate Upton…..
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