In case you didn’t know, Scott Gomez is still playing professional hockey. Shocking as that may be, the real shocker is that he’s still just 32 years old (and in case you were wondering, no he’s not from the Dominican, the age is legit.) I just find it hard to believe that a guy who averaged 71 Points a season from 2004-2008 could be reduced to this. Gomez notched his 1st Goal of the season last night and it’s hard to call him anything more than a detriment to his team right now. In fact if I were a Canadian’s fan at least 50% of my anger over the last 2+ season’s would be over Gomez. The rest would be towards Bob Gainey, the idiot who traded for him (and the $30MM left on his contract)… Anywho, lets move on to someone Montreal fans can hang their hat on…
Max Pacioretty – LW (Mon): Max-Pac notched his 1st career Hat Trick and it was all thanks to one Scotty Gomez…. NOT! Pacioretty is probably the Canadian’s biggest offensive threat (sorry Plekanec) which means he is plenty valuable, especially at LW. And in case you haven’t been paying attention, you know I’ve got a thing for this guy. And after a night like last night (Hat Trick, +2, 10SOG) my only question is why don’t YOU???
Chris Stewart – RW (StL): I think I have you figured out Stew. You’re an abusive boyfriend and I am the girl who keeps coming back. Well no more! You’re 2 Points last night mean nothing to me! I’m serious this time!!!
Michael Del Zotto – D (NYR): Wait you’re only 21? As in like 2-1? As in like 8 months ago you couldn’t legally drink alcohol? I’ve only got 2 things to say about that: 1) Your last name should have 2 R’s in it not 2 T’s; and 2) I smell sleeper for next season…
Dion Phaneuf – D (Tor): Granted Phaneuf is having a better season than I thought he was capable of, BUTT, the streakiness can’t be helping in H2H leagues. Here’s his season starting with Game #1: 9Points/+6 in 7 Games; 3Points/-7 in 12 Games; 6Points/+2 in 4 Games; 1Point/-4 in 10 Games; 9Points/+9 in 8 Games; 0Points/-3 in 8 Games; and currently he’s streaking to the tune of 5 Points in 6 games… Maybe he’s bi-polar?
Scott Hartnell – LW (Phi): Keep it up Curly… I Hart You!
Alex Ovechkin – RW (Wsh): I said right after his 3 game suspension that there was a chance Ovie wouldn’t reach 30 Goals… Well after #23 last night the chances of that happening are about as slim as a pack of Virginia Slims Ultra Light… Yeah. That thin…
Rick Nash – LW/RW (CBJ): Nick Rash is what I shall call you from now on because you are like a bad rash. The Goals suck me in every year (2 times 40+ Goals, 6 times 30+) but unless you’re traded to a team with some talent we’re through next year. I’m already a paragraph into your bust column that I’ll post in August…
Henrik Sedin – C (Van): The good looking Sedin Sister was seen in a walking boot 2 nights ago, but he played last night and even scored a Goal.. Hmm, maybe the reporters just mistook his walking boot for these…
Jason Spezza – C (Ott): Has regained some momentum (2G/2A last 2 Games) after a 6 game scoreless streak, and I say use it to trade him. You can’t ask for more production from Spezza Spezza so just cash in your chips now.
Mike Richards – C/LW (LA): Seriously dude, you suck. I didn’t like you in the preseason and you’ve done nothing to change my mind. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if Mike Fisher (errrrr…… Mr. Underwood) is ranked ahead of you next preseason!
Mike Smith – G (Phx): It’s good to see my boy recover (4-0, 1.50GAA, .952SV% last 6 days) after having a major hiccup prior to that (12 Goals in 3 Games). I’m all in on the Common Man and you should be too. Start at will…
Kyle Clifford – LW (LA): If you need PIM’s to close out the week, the big red dog here has a game Saturday and Sunday, so he’ll get into at least 1 fight…
Brandon Prust – LW (NYR): Ditto.
Derek Dorsett – RW (CBJ): Ditto II…
Chris Phillips – D (Ott): And I save the best for last. Chris Phillips notched his 1st AND 2nd Goal of the season yesterday in his 1,000th(!) career NHL game. If that’s not the definition of Tebowing I don’t know what is…
