So there’s just one game on tonight?

And it’s Dallas? As in Dallas, Texas? The leading oil-drilling state? 

Versus Edmonton? Also known as the “Oil Capital of Canada”? 

On Tuesday night, right before the holiday where everyone drops their freshly plucked birds in a giant vat of boiling…

WAIT, WHAT?!

Ok, so I guess it’s officially “Deep Fried Tuesday” on the NHL schedule. I would have said, “Welcome to the War of Oil Wranglin!”, but I was worried about copyright infringement.

That said, I expect Diddy’s lawyers are busy elsewhere, so I guess we shouldn’t worry too much about any potential litigation.

Ah, jokes. Deep-fried jokes. With a side of spiciness. Because, of course, what else do we have to look forward to on a November night when, after surviving another slow march through the day job, one gets to sit through a less-than-motivational staff meeting instead of heading home?

You know, staff meeting night. That’s when all the workers get together to digest some force-fed information from above, all the while wishing the God of Lightning (yes, Brian Bradley) would strike them down and spare them the pain and suffering from having to sit though those “could have been an email” moments and a smattering of questions that don’t pertain to 90% of the other folks in the room.

Good times.

Well, since my brain quickly wandered elsewhere sometime around the three-minute mark in said meeting, I wondered what it would be like if we had regular staff meetings at our beloved Razzball HQ.

I swear this is not Grey and Rudy. Blame the AI machine for any likeness…or unlikeness.

Needless to say, I’m not ready to fully embrace AI for anything, but I will tell you that the original image I asked Co-Pilot to create looked a bit like this. And with every subsequent edit, all parts of said picture began to melt together in a final puddle of coagulated slop. Kind of like what the aftermath of those oil vats might yield after Thanksgiving preparations are finished.

But while we’re imagining things, I’d imagine a Razzball staff meeting outline for tonight would look something like this:

1. One game on the schedule – look at the standings and recent games from both Edmonton and Dallas.
2. Are there any interesting storylines to highlight? Who? Why?
3. Any specific problems with each team? IR lists? Suspensions?
4. Can we write up each period of the game as it plays through?
5. Round-up – Any big highlights, final notes/observations?
6. Post the 3-Point challenge rules and make your pick for Wednesday Night’s games.

That looks like a plan to me. And it certainly sounds better than a usual staff meeting night, with or without snacks.

So without further ado…

Pre-game notes

Evan Bouchard – 2 goals, 11 assists, and +9 in November.

Mikko Rantanen – Two boarding majors in his last three games mean an automatic one-game suspension for the big Finnish finisher. He should be back on Wednesday night against the Kraken.

Edmonton is 10-9-5 overall, BUT 5-1-2 in 8 home games.

Dallas is 2nd in the Central division with a 13-5-4 record and just one regulation loss in 11 road games.

GAME TIME

First period

It started pretty awesome right away with the national anthems. In a “Hockey Fights Cancer” night at Rogers Centre in Edmonton, the public address announcer invites the fans to sing ‘O Canada’ as a tribute to the regular anthem singer, Robert Clarke, who is fighting his own battle against the disease. Clarke later sends in a video message saying that he’s doing well in his battle against lymphoma.

Stuart Skinner (8-6-3) vs Jake Oettinger (9-4-2).

Leon Draisaitl is tied for third in the league with 14 goals.

Mikko Rantanen’s absence is enough of a loss for Dallas to overcome. Still, Matt Duchene (upper body) hasn’t played since October 18th, and Thomas Harley is sidelined week-to-week (lower body). As if the defence isn’t bruised up enough, Ilya Lybushkin and Nils Lundqvist are also out with lower-body injuries. 

3:48 – GOAL (DAL) –  Jamie Benn (1) from Wyatt Johnston (11). Evan Bouchard has his pocket picked by Wyatt Johnston behind the net, and the young forward slides an easy pass out front to Jamie Benn for the finish. Not the start Edmonton fans are looking for, less than 4 minutes into the game. 1-0 DALLAS.

That’s captain Jamie Benn’s 400th career goal and the first of the game. What an accomplishment for the 36-year-old veteran who’s played in just 4 games this year after recovering from a collapsed lung. Can you guess who Benn’s captain was with Dallas in his first year (2009-2010)?

10:12 – PENALTY (EDM) – Ty Emberson takes a high-sticking penalty after his wood comes up in the D-zone and clips Sam Steel in the mouth.

10:51 – PP GOAL (DAL) – Roope Hintz (6) from Miro Heiskanen (17) and Jason Robertson (16). Miro Heiskanen, Jason Robertson, Wyatt Johnston, Tyler Seguin, and Roope Hintz move the puck around the O-Zone like it’s a Sunday morning practice. Hintz buries the Heiskanen pinch rebound up high on Skinner. 2-0 DALLAS.

15:24 – GOAL (DAL) – Nathan Bastian (2) from Radek Faksa (8) and Colin Blackwell (7). Brett Kulak steps up on the far boards to challenge Faksa, who chips the puck past him and sends Bastian in on a two-on-one against the lone defender (Ty Emberson). Bastian makes no mistake, roofing Dallas’s third of the night over Skinner’s shoulder. It looks like someone is happy to fill in for the suspended Mikko Rantanen. 3-0 DALLAS.

That’s 3 goals on 6 shots for the Dallas Stars. 

And just over a minute later, Wyatt Johnston floats a high pass into the slot that is tipped past Skinner by Nathan Bastian for his second of the night. Officials immediately call it off for a high stick, and the video review confirms the call. Still 3-0 Dallas. 

18:46 – GOAL (DAL) – Sam Steel (3) from Jamie Benn (2) and Wyatt Johnston (12). Don’t stop me if you’ve heard this before. Wyatt Jonnston centres a pass in the slot to Jamie Benn, who snaps a quick shot that Stuart Skinner makes a nice save on, but can’t corral the puck and Sam Steel jams the rebound in from the blue paint. 4-0 DALLAS.

19:23 – PENALTY (DAL) – Nathan Bastian takes a high-sticking penalty on the forecheck after his stick gets caught up in Darnell Nurse’s shield.

The Oilers’ lethal PP1 group is going to start the 2nd period with 1:24 on the man advantage.

Much of this early debacle isn’t his fault, but I don’t think we see Stuart Skinner back out for Period Two.

First intermission

Big props to legendary Sportsnet broadcaster Gene Principe for his interviews in the stands with fans and for sharing their stories of fighting through cancer. Fundraising efforts and researchers get a nod on screen, and some kids get to share their enthusiasm for the game. Class act by Gene here.

Second period

The announcers quickly point out a not-so-flattering stat for the home team.

Edmonton hasn’t trailed 4-0 heading into the second period of a game since January 22nd…

…2013

Dallas manages to kill the rest of Bastian’s penalty, and the Oilers crowd gives their goalie replacement, Calvin Pickard, a bit of a tongue-in-cheek round of applause for catching an easy shot on net in his glove.

The shots at the three-minute mark of the 2nd don’t do the scoring sheet justice. 9-7 EDM (SOG).

4:39 – GOAL (EDM) – Connor Clattenburg (1) from Ty Emberson (3) and Mattias Janmark (3). The 20-year-old Clattenburg hammers home a juicy rebound in front of the net after Mattias Janmark creates some havoc in the Dallas crease, and the adage “throw it on the net” breaks the shutout with a bit of grinding line energy from the Oilers’ bottom 3. 4-1 DALLAS.

9:00 – Oh look! Trent Frederic is laying out to block a shot in the defensive zone. A nice play that all of his teammates show their appreciation for when he gets back to the bench, but if you think that makes me forget about how the Bruins should’ve drafted Alex deBrincat instead of him way back in 2016…

9:18 – offsetting roughing PENALTIES to Adam Henrique and Lian Bichsel should give these guys some more room to skate at 4-on-4.

12:26 – delayed PENALTY call on Zach Hyman (holding), right after the zebras miss a “holding the stick” call on a Star who was waterskiing with Leon Draisaitl’s lumber. That sends Dallas back to the power play.

Pickard makes a solid pad save on a backhand-to-forehand shot from Mavrik Bourque (off a smooth pass from Tyler Seguin).

Dallas calls a timeout to rest its PP after Adam Henrique – 13:48 – PENALTY – gets called for the hook on Bourque.

It’ll be 38 seconds of 5-on-3.

14:01 – GOAL (DAL) – Jason Robertson (14) from Tyler Seguin (7) and Wyatt Johnston (13). Well, that didn’t take long. The 5-on-3 runs like a greased-up pinball machine. Smooth. 5-1 DALLAS.

That’s 11 goals for Robertson in his (last) 7-game streak. To add insult to injury, the goal is scored on the 5-on-3, so the Dallas PP continues for 1:47 after the whistle.

15:36 – GOAL (DAL) – Wyatt Johnston (12) from Jason Robertson (17) and Tyler Seguin (8). Oh man. I was just going to say in the last note that I’m getting tired of typing Wyatt Johnston’s name. And here it is again. Twice. 6-1 DALLAS.

AND that’s the end of the 2nd period. Dallas leads in shots on goal: 22-15.

No word on whether Connor McDavid is pulling a Patrick Roy in the dressing room in the second intermission.

Third period

1:23 – GOAL (EDM) – Evan Bouchard (4) hammers home a 93 MPH rocket from Vasily Podkolzin (6) and Leon Draisaitl (15). The blast from the blue line blows past Oettinger, and a Zach Hyman screen, to extend Leon Draisaitl’s point streak to 7 games and make it 6-2 DALLAS.

4:38 – PENALTY (EDM) – Connor Clattenburg takes a hooking penalty to wipe out any momentum that Edmonton had from the Bouchard goal.

8:21 – GOAL (DAL) – Justin Hyrckowian (3) from Mavrik Bourque (5) and Vladislav Kolyachonok (1). Dallas scores their 7th of the night off a redirection tic-tac-toe play in the offensive zone, and after a quick check to see if the video team would review a potential high stick, the referee says, “Drop the puck”. Hey, at least you could score a pretty huge Scrabble total if you used these guys’ names in a game. 7-2 DALLAS.

9:31 – GOAL (EDM) – Jack Roslovic (10) from Connor McDavid (24) and Matt Savoie (4). I don’t know what it feels like to score a goal after your team has given up 7, but it can’t feel as good as scoring a game-winner. 7-3 DALLAS.

15:39 – GOAL (DAL) – Nathan Bastian (3) from Radek Faksa (9).

8-3 DALLAS.

19:39 – PENALTY (DAL) – I’m pretty sure the cross-check was the universe’s punishment for my staff meeting digs, and just so I had to type out “Vladislav Kolyachonok” again. Well, the joke’s on you, Vladdy. Control C, Control V.

FINAL: DALLAS 8 – EDMONTON 3

It was a rough one for Edmonton as they were outshot 29-23 and absolutely annihilated on the scoreboard. They’ll get a boost when Ryan Nugent-Hopkins returns (likely this weekend at Seattle), but things are looking pretty bleak in Oil-Town just past the quarter mark of the season.

I assume this means one thing is certain: The explosion of trade rumors and goalie chatter in Edmonton is ready to explode like a frozen turkey dropped in a vat of boiling oil.

As far as Dallas is concerned, the win gives the Stars a 7-1-1 record in their last 9 games.

THREE STARS OF THE NIGHT

• *    Wyatt Johnston 1 G, 3 A
• **   Jason Robertson 1 G, 2 A
• *** Jamie Benn 400th career goal, 1 A

Well, that’s all for the single game of the night! I was up against a tough one with only one game, so I figured the format change might at least give you all something to read without focusing on every single player’s minimal stats from the game. I hope you enjoyed it.

As Viz said on Monday, we’ll post our 3-Point challenge for Wednesday Night’s games here, below.

You know the rules (and I think I do too!). No picking any of the Top 10 scorers in the league. That means Nathan MacKinnon, Macklin Celebrini (!), Connor McDavid, Connor Bedard, Jack Eichel, David Pastrnak, Cale Makar, Leo Carlsson, William Nylander, Martin Necas, Jason Robertson, Mikko Rantanen, Mark Schiefele, and Leon Draisaitl are off limits. Whew. That’s quite the list.

I’ll take the NHL’s leading goal scorer (and a bit of a homer pick), Morgan Geekie, tonight against NYI.

Thanks for the read, and if you have any questions or comments, feel free to drop them below!

Lastly, Happy Thanksgiving this week to all of our friends who celebrate!

Happy Wednesday, and I’ll see you next week!

Follow me @marmosdad on Twitter/X and Bluesky @marmosdad.bsky.social