Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+

Believe me I’m fully aware of the playoff races going on right now, but my team is out so I’m not exactly wrapped up in it.  What I am wrapped up in is a certain 5’7″ Right Winger for the Colombus Blue Jackets.  I’m a vertically challenged guy myself so I tend to gravitate towards men of my ilk.  And yesterday that gravitational pull lead me to Cam Atkinson, the 67 inch wonder of the NHL… Okay that’s probably exaggerating (exagerrating? exajerrating?  ixajurating?  ixaggerating?)  a little bit, but I just love it when an unknown loser steals the spotlight for a day.  “Cam Atkinson is a warrior and his talents will only grow with the nurture of the Colombus organization.”  Nice try VTB, but we all know this is the 1st and LAST time he’ll be mentioned on this site.  So let that be a lesson to all you other bums out there:  Notch a Hat Trick and you could be the lead story!!!

Buffalo Sabres – Okay now you’re done…  If it wasn’t for the fact that you played the Toronto Maple Leafs 2 nights ago this game would’ve been meaningless anyway, so don’t feel so bad.  I can’t wait to see what this team does in the offseason.  Clearly, the corp of Miller-Vanek-Pominville-Roy-Stafford will never produce a Championship, so as the Asian extremist would say, YOU GO BOOM!!

Matt Moulson – LW (NYI):  28 years old.  30, 31, and 36 Goals each of the last 3 seasons.  ICE.  MOULSON ICE…

Jamal Mayers – RW (Chi):  Notched his 6th Goal of the season and if you reverse his name you have the ideal candidate for Mayor of Harlem.

Steven Stamkos – C (TB):  Alright Stamkos you have 1 (One) game left to score 1 (One) Goal.  Let’s not fudge this thing.  There is no better argument I can make for ranking you ahead of Malkin next (this) year than 60 Goals.  “But Malkin

Jarome Iginla – RW (Cgy):  If I have a major regret in my 2011-2012 preseason rankings, Jarome is at the top of my list.  Martin St. Louis:  “What about me?”  Oh yeah.  I forgot about you.  Aren’t you like 57 years old too???  I have a feeling there is a lesson to be learned here…

Dan Hamhuis – D (Van):  Much like the actual pork product, HAMhuis is chronically underrated.  I’m not a fan myself, but…. well, actually if I don’t like ham then it is in no way underrated.  Nevermind the last sentence…

Jake Gardiner – D (Tor):  A Goal and an Assist yesterday gives him 4 points in the Leafs last 3 games.  Big whoop.  I’ll be much more impressed when you are in my backyard with a lawnmower!

Kris Letang – D (Pit):  I am gonna love Letang next month… Ahem… Concussion…. Ahem….  Dammit!  Why did you have to remind me?!?

Alex Ovechkin – RW (Wsh):  “So much for my fantasy where Ovechkin doesn’t even get 30 Goals.  After #26 yesterday I can’t see a scenario (short of a zamboni running him over) where he doesn’t get 4 Goals in Washington’s final 17 games…  Either way it’s been an awful season for the Top 3 preseason pick.”  Yeah… That’s what I wrote on February 28, and since then Ovie has 11 Goals in 16 games.  It’s like he knows.  It’s like he knows

Martin Brodeur – G (NJ):  Marty now has 4 Wins in a row and the Jersery faithful are having flashbacks to 2003.  Or 2000.  Either way my point is the same:  Marty Brodeur is the man and age is just a number!

Ryan Clowe – LW (SJ):  This game (1G/1A/+1/12PIM) is the reason I had Clowe on the same level as Scotty Hartnell in the preseason.  It’s just too bad he decided to take half the season off…

Ryan Getzlaf – C (Ana):  I may as well write his eulogy right now:  11 Goals, 45 Assists and a -9…  In 81 Games.  Getz is too young to write off completely though.  Even if this makes me think he’s older than he says he is…