You wanna know a big problem with the NHL that nobody talks about? 2 intermissions. Sports fans can really only tolerate 1 major stoppage during a 3 hour event before they lose interest. The easy solution is to just split every game into two 30 minute halves, but a hockey rink doesn’t work that way. By minute 22 or 23 of each half the action would grind to a halt. It’d be about as entertaining as watching a 12-and-under game. So since we have to keep both intermissions anyway, lets make them more entertaining. My idea: A competetive Zamboni league. Make the Zamboni’s smaller (but faster), add bumbers and race them around the rink. You’d start with 4, then the top 2 make the final during the 2nd intermission. Each driver would accumulate points (using the Nascar model) and then the top drivers make the playoffs in April. And the best part is it wouldn’t increase the length of each intermission.Please, blog, may I have some more?
“The D will set you free!” Hey thanks Vic the Brick! Do you have anything else to add or is that pretty much the range of your analytic abilities? “You must play like your hair is on fire!” Yeah that might be a problem on the ice. “You are like the bamboo, you bend but…” Okay shutup now you’ve already proven you have zero sports knowledge. Pretty amazing considering that’s your job… Anywho, it’s time for me to bring the mad def energy and hit you with some actual analysis. You’ve heard me rail against the importance of drafting defenseman early in the draft, so don’t do it. That said you need 4 of them in most leagues so knowing who they are is still important. We will start on #3, because only Keith Yandle (#23) and Kris Letang (#30) cracked my Top 30. And since there are typically 4 spots for Defenseman on a roster, this will be more than a 1 shot deal. I’ll get to as many as I can tonight, all depends on how drunk I may or may not be when I get home from Dodger stadium, assuming of course I make it home in 1 piece.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tuuka Rask (who looks like the love child of Cindy Lou Who and the Grinch) was all the rage going into last year’s draft. He took over for an injured Tim Thomas the previous season and went donkey-kong crazy with a 1.97GAA, .931SV%, 5 Shutouts and a 22-12 record (He won 20 games! He should’ve won the Cy Young!) But then Tim Thomas sold his soul and went on to have one of the greatest seasons in the history of the sport. Rask was relegated to *Mr 1 Start a Week and most everyone who drafted him didn’t realize how worthless he was until it was too late. This year there is no Tuuka Rask, but I guarantee at least 1 or 3 Goalies will emerge from pergatory to become a starter. Often it’s a highly touted rookie who replaces an ineffective veteran (Reimer for Jiggy last year). But it can also be due to injury (Scott Clemmenson for Marty Brodeur 3 years ago) or even trade (I don’t have an example off the top of my head – sue me). The point is, every backup in the league has the potential to become a full time starter and knowing who they are will give you a leg (glove?Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Goalies! As I intimated in the Strategery post there are alot of good goaltenders out there. Different leagues start drafting Goalies at different times, so the more you know about your league the better. If you forgot the Top 6 goalies, go here and scroll down slowly, they’re in there. There will be more about Goalies to come, so stay tuned. It’ll be a hoot!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Drafting to me is like the 1st time you have sex with someone you’re interested in having a relationship with. As it’s happening, you feel great and you’re certain you’re pushing all the right buttons and making all the right moves. Then immediately after it’s over, you can’t imagine how perfect everything went. You’re a STUD. She’s liquefied… But 2 hours later, you’re alone in your room and you can’t sleep.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Alright, all 12 of you have been eagerly awaiting my Top 10 (okay okay, all 5 of you). I hate being so corny with the “Top 10″, but cut me some slack my degree is in finance. I originally had a whole diatribe about draft strategy, but I was distracted by the SpikeTV show “Repo Games” (strategery will come later). Has anyone seen this farce? There’s this dooshy looking guy who goes to peoples house to repo their car, but instead of just taking it he gives them the chance to win it back by answering 3 questions correctly. The best part though? The cars are complete crap. An ’01 Hyundai, a 2003 F-150, and a ’99 Ford Bronco. The lucky winners celebrated like they had just struck oil in their backyard….Please, blog, may I have some more?
So the NHL Network is replaying every game from last year’s playoffs. Why you ask? They’re lazy. It’s lazy programming. It’s the equivalent of a sports talk show host doing nothing but 4 hours of listener call ins. Is anyone outside of Boston interested in watching their team fail miserably in the playoffs? I didn’t think so… In real world hockey news, Chris Drury retired after finding out no GM is dumb enough to pay him millions of dollars to play a game anymore, Jonas Hiller is good to go after a months long bout with vertigo, and Sid the kid is still having a hard time dealing with that pesky thing known as natural light. Now, onto the rankings:
20. Eric Staal – C (Car): The best Staal in the bathroom (and the NHL). Some people say his brother Jordan might be better because he plays “defense”, I say who cares? This is fantasy hockey and all we care about is putting biscuits in the basket. Once upon a time, Eric put together one of those magical 100 point seasons but since then he’s kind of settled into a Point-Per-Game guy. His plus/minus’s have been on the wrong side of zero most years, but I feel like he has some decent linemates this season – and it starts with reigning Calder Trophy (R.O.Y.) winner Jeff Skinner.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to Razzball, the hockey edition! My name is Dan and I’m one of the rarest of rare human beings on the planet – A hardcore hockey fan who was born, raised, and currently living in Southern California. For those of you not familiar with hockey it actually doesn’t involve a ball at all. Apparently they use a psychopathic, gay-bashing cast member from the original “Real World”. Seriously though, I love hockey.Please, blog, may I have some more?