Today we look at some of my worst prognostications from 7 months ago. The list is long and pretty damning, but then again I’m not a professional prognosticator – I just play one on this blog! HIIIOOOOOOOO!!! Ahem… Lets just get started shall we? My first guest today…errr… disappointment is none other than Sid the concussed Kid. I’m sure many of you are thinking: “It was stupid to rank him #6 overall when he was still dealing with concussion issues back in September!” And you’d be right. Aren’t you a smart guy! But in my defense, or D-IIII if you’re in the stands at a football game, it’d been over 6 months since his last concussion and when I was growing up, the remedy for a concussion was to shake your head back & forth and sniff a few smelling salts. Then if you could recognize the 2 fingers the Coach was holding up, you were cured!! No year long breaks spent “recovering”. No worrying about getting “dizzy” or not being able to go outside in the day because of “light” from the “sun”. You can act like a man! Alright in all seriousness though, I clearly underestimated the power of the “C” word this year and have learned a lesson. Not as big a lesson as I learned when I underestimated the power of the other “C” word, but big nonetheless… As far as Sidney Crosby‘s ranking for next year? Well you’ll have to wait and find out, but I can’t ignore the fact he only played in 22 Games and still had 37 Points…. as I wipe the druel collecting in my Goatee…. No! Can’t! Won’t!………….
Jarome Iginla – RW (Cgy): This one really hurts cuz when I originally put together my rankings I had brotha Jarome down around number 20, then I dug a little deeper into his 2010-2011 season and liked what I saw so much I moved him all the way up to #10. So what did I get for going out on a limb with a 34 year old who was just a year removed from his worst season ever? Well lets just say the limb snapped, much like they’re prone to do with eldery gentleman…
Martin St. Louis – RW (TB): Speaking of elderly gentleman, heeeeeere’s Marty! Now I’m sure if you drafted St. Louis 7th overall (which is where I had him ranked) it wouldn’t have been impossible to still have a good team. He did put up 74 points afterall. But the real problem was the complete and almost biblical drop in Power Play Points. He went from averaging 39PPP’s each of the last 2 seasons to 16 this year! SIXTEEN! The last time he had fewer, Bob Probert and Stu Grimson were still around concussing…… ERRRRRR….. fighting each other. The real surprising part about St. Louis’ disappointing season is that Stamkos had his best season ever. If I’d had known that before doing last year’s rankings Marty probably would’ve cracked the Top 5. So technically it could have been worse right? RIGHT???
Ryan Getzlaf – C (Ana): In all honesty Getzlaf probably deserves top billing on this post (I had him ranked #13), but he helped bring my team a Stanley Cup so what can I say? I’m a sucker for hardware. What I won’t be a sucker for is ranking Getz anywhere near the Top 25-30 ever again, let alone the top 13! In fact this season was so bad I don’t even wanna yuck up this post with the numbers, go look them up for yourself if you wanna see just how truly god-awful Ryan Getzlaf was in 2011-2012.
Ryan Kesler – C (Van): I oscillated (word of the day!) back and forth with Kesler. He missed the first 5 games of the season with an injury and I personally believe he never fully recovered from it. HOWEVA, when you rank a guy 14th overall and he goes 22G/27A/+11/19PPP’s/56PIM/222SOG, something was off in you’re calculations. Or mine. You know what I mean…
Keith Yandle – D (Phx): Okay it’s official I will never trust another Defenseman ever again. I stuck my neck out and ranked Yandle as my Top Defenseman (23rd overall) and he proceeded to slash my throat with his stick. It was a solid season, but when I recommend taking him ahead of the holy trinity of Weber-Lidstrom-Chara, “solid” just doesn’t cut it. And I’m just gonna leave it at that before I beat myself up too much… “He plays for the Coyotes! Don’t you remember Mike Green and Drew Doughty from 2 years ago!” NO! STOP!!!
Alexander Semin – LW/RW (Wsh): Man I’ve sure got some doozies (or dookies?) in my Top 30 don’t I? Semin was supposed to be a Goal scoring specialist who couldn’t stay healthy, but instead he played in 77 games and scored just 21 Goals. I feel the same way a porn-star must feel after having sex with a regular dude: What a disappointing load…
Jimmy Howard – G (Det): “What is the great Jimmy Howard doing on this list? He had a Vezina caliber season for the Mighty Red Wings!” Yes I know he had a good season VTB and that’s exactly why he’s on this list. I had him as one of my “busts” in the preseason. Damn you J-HO! Damn you!!!
So that does it. What did we learn from all this? It’s pretty simple: Never trust Defenseman, Russians, concussion victims or the elderly when drafting for Fantasy Hockey…
