Scott Hartnell had a magical season for the 2011-2012 Philadelphia Flyers. I won’t wax poetic (by the way, WTF is the meaning of “waxing poetic”? And don’t Google it either. HA! SEE! You don’t know what it mean’s either!) But back to my point, Hartnell was one of my preseason heart-throbs and I have to say after 6 months I’m ready to tie the knot… 37 Goals, 30 Assists, +19, 23 Power Play Points, 232 Shots and 136 Penalty Minutes… Now that’s what I call fillin’ up the stat sheet. It’s also what I call a career year. If Scott Hartnell ever gets anywhere near 37 Goals and 23 Power Play Points in a season again I’ll eat my sock. (And trust me if you saw my feet you’d know how serious a statement that is). But now is not the time to prognosticate. Now is the time to praise those select few who will not only score a Goal on you, but also beat you to within an inch of your life… Here are your 2011-2012 Hartnell’s Heroes:
Steve Ott – C/LW (Dal): I initially didn’t want to talk about Ott (I thought he was in line for a career year), but all things considered Ott deserves to be on this prestigious list. 156PIM’s was good for 6th in the NHL and tack on the 11 Goals, 28 Assists, +5, and 8PPP”s and you have a productive fantasy contributor… I just hope Steve-O doesn’t hurt himself doing some ridiculous stunt in the offseason…
David Clarkson – RW (NJ): Career Goals prior to this season: 52 in 300 Games… Goals this year: 30 in 80 Games. So what do I mean by that you ask? “David Clarkson has seen the light! The New Jersey Devils nurtured him for 5 season’s and now he is bearing fruit!” Yeah sure, that works. I know I don’t say this often, but that was some quality analysis VTB…
Milan Lucic – LW (Bos): If I were a Bawstin native I’m sure this guy would’ve had top billing, but thankfully I’ve only spent 7 days of my 30 years of existence in bean-town. And believe me I love the City, but every sports fan in Boston thinks they are Gawd’s gift to fandom. Well from my experience I can tell you that outside of Boston Sports, they know very little. Go to a Red Sox game and ask Sully who the Shortstop for the Rockies is and he’ll start talking about how the Red Sox haven’t had a Shortstop since NOMAAAR left a decade ago. Bring up Wayne Gretzky and you get a puzzled look followed by a dissertation on Bobby Orr’s greatness… But then again, maybe that’s what makes Bawstin sports fans so great. They are to the sports world what the Tea Party is to the political world…
Steve Downie – LW/RW (Col): It was the Summer of 2010. I was courting Steve Downie pretty aggressively despite the restraining orders. The 22 year old was coming off a 22 Goal, 24 Assist, 11Power Play Point, 208 Penalty Minute season. Then the next season happened. And then this season happened. And now all I know is that sh*t happens and I’m down on Downie…
Nick Foligno – LW (Ott): Our first new entrant onto this list came out of nowhere with 124 Penalty Minutes and 47 Points. At first glance I’m not buying it, and at 2nd glance it looks like someone spray-painted “fluke” over his Wikipedia page…
Wayne Simmonds – RW (Phi): Simmonds, Sealy, Serta, Spring Air, Stern’s & Foster, Chatham & Wells, and Miralux mattresses! All at discounted prices! We’ll beat anyone’s advertised price or your matress is ……………..
P.K. Subban – D (Mon): The lone Defenseman on the list is none other than Potential Knockout Subban. He had a down year offensively according to some, but you have to remember he won’t turn 23 for another month. That monster season is still ahead of him and if you listen to me he’ll be on your team next year and the year after…. and the year after that… and the year after that…. and the year after….. okay you get the point.
