So are we gonna beat Valley next week? They’re gonna eat mat sir! Oh yeah it’s all about the Bayside Tigers and the un-pinnable A.C. Slater. Quick, bonus points for anyone who knows what the AC in AC Slater stands for…………… Anyone?…………. No no it’s not Awful Character….. Give up yet? No? Hey hey take it easy, it’s not Ass Clown either…. Andrew Cogliano? No we’ll get to him in a second.. It’s Albert Clifford. Seriously. And if you knew that you’re an even bigger loser than I am… Now back to the real life A.C., who notched the 1st Hat Trick of his 377 game career last night in Phoenix. And he did it all in the 2nd period in a span of 7 minutes. He also reminded me that back in August I called Cogliano a “sleeper”. I’m glad it only took him 50 games to finally wake up…. And speaking of waking up, thank christ the NHL is back playing some real games…
John Tavares – C (NYI): I’ve really gotta get over this notion of mine that Tavares has been disappointing. After last night’s 2Goal/2Assist performance Mr. Upside catapulted himself into the Top 20 of the Yahoo fantasy rankings (their version of ESPN’s “Player Rater”). And maybe it’s because I don’t own him in any leagues that I can’t shake this false notion. Maybe he can do me a favor and score 4 Points a night so it makes him impossible to ignore… yeah I’m pretty sure that would do it…
Dany Heatley – LW/RW (Min): It’s amazing how a good 3 or 4 game hot streak can completely erase month’s of mediocrity for an NHL player. You don’t see that in other sports (with the exception of football because they play like 5 games in the regular season). And Dany Heatley is a prime example of that. Including yesterday, Heatley’s last 3 games are downright awesome: 4G/3A/+4/2PPP/11SOG. That’s in just 3 games. Keep bringing the HEAT! HA!
Mikhail Grabovski – C (Tor): Is it just me or does Mikhail’s last name sound like the nickname of a Russian serial rapist? I can see the cover of the Moscow Times now: “Grabovski” Strikes Again; Women and Children Urged to Stay Indoors.” (Only that would be in Russian!). Anyway despite the last name, Grabovski remains a decent C3 option in 12 team leagues and he proved it again yesterday with 2 Goals and an Assist.
Michal Handzus – C (SJ): So to continue the “strange last name” theme this guy’s makes me think of the gunk leftover on your hand when you, uh, you know, ‘use’ your hand… It’s fitting too because that is about what his fantasy value is.
Zdeno Chara – D (B0s): I’m pretty much convinced that the radar guns used at the skills competition are the same ones being used by MLB. You know the ones I’m talking about; Stephen Strasburg throws 102MPH and 50 year old Jamie Moyer throws 85. Sure they do. And sure Zdeno Chara can shoot a puck 107MPH. Riiiiiight. In 3 years big Z will be shooting at the speed of sound…
David Clarkson – RW (NJ): It’s really hard to believe his sudden scoring outburst (5 Points in 5 Games) but if that suddenly dies off don’t fret because the PIM’s will still be there. Alot of ’em. Clarkson gets into more trouble than these guys…
Ondrej Pavelec – G (Wpg): I’ve been on and off of Ondrej more often than his wife this season. But seriously can you blame me? When he goes bad, he goes rotten. How’s 5 Goals allowed on January 10th sound? How about 6 on January 4? Still not enough? Try 7 on December 10th and October 27th. The point is Ondrej is one of those Goalies who is good enough to get you to the playoffs, but then in the 1st week of the playoffs he gives up half a dozen and kills your season.
Thomas Vanek – LW (Buf): Left with the always mysterious UBI and is (for now) day-to-day. This would be a blow to both your fantasy team and the Sabre’s (slim) playoff chances. Unless you don’t own Vanek or you hate Buffalo for whatever reason. Then it’s good news…
Steven Stamkos – C (TB): The slow and steady trickle of Stamkos Goals continue. He needs 17 in his last 33 games to hit the magic number. It’s all but a lock now. Cha-ching!!!
Ryan Kesler – C (Van): I toyed with putting Kesler in my buy low post but didn’t for reasons unknown. In fact I don’t know why I do or say alot of things…. I think….
Peter Mueller – C/LW (Col): Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Go directly to your Waiver Wire and pick up Peter Mueller. 16% Yahoo ownership is way too low for a guy who had 20 Points in just 15 games for this same team last year. And he is on the top Power Play unit… Now if only he could wear a no-contact jersey during games everything would be perfect…
