Chris Stewart was suspended 3 games by someone who looks like he should be in a Geico commercial. I feel like at the end of every one of Brendan Shanahan’s explanations he needs to say “That was so easy a cave-man could do it!”… Okay okay, he’s not a neanderthal, but can he at least lighten up a bit? His demeanor is that of a policeman telling some woman her husband was murdered. You’re announcing an NHL suspension. It’s not life and death!…… Anywho, this suspension officially qualifies as throwing gas on the fire that is Chris Stewart’s season. I said earlier in the week that if you’re sitting in 11th or 12th place and waaay out of a playoff spot it’s time to start hacking limbs. Guys like Chris Stewart are the limbs I’m talking about. For those of you sittin’ pretty (or at least a stone’s throw away from a playoff spot) Stewart is still worth hanging onto though. His season is not lost yet…
Ilya Kovalchuk – LW/RW (NJ): Here’s someone who is lost however…. NAAAAAWWWW! Hope is still alive for this dirty Kommie. His Goal last night in his first game back from a strained something-or-other was awesome. Plus he’s doing better at this point in the season than last year and his talent is still through the roof…
Ryan Getzlaf – C (Ana): Must have had flashbacks of his water polo days in high school because he literally threw a puck into the net last night. Obviously it didn’t count, but I’ll give him credit because if there was no such thing as instant replay it would’ve counted.. And if you haven’t noticed, I’m filibustering right now. I refuse to acknowledge his awful season.
Jonas Hiller – G (Ana): Speaking of awful seasons… As much as I’d like to leave it at that, I have to point out that he was very good against LA last night. The Ducks will turn things around at some point and Hiller will be a big reason why.
Jonathan Quick – G (LA): I just thought about this, but is “Jonas” the Swiss equivalent of “Jonathan”? If any of you speak Swiss (or whatever the hell people living in Switzerland speak) can you let me know in the comments?? Thanks… And oh yeah, J-Quick is the most underrated Goalie in the NHL right now.
Mike Richards – C (LA): I normally just comment on a player’s on-ice performance (which he had the lone Goal for the Kings last night), but I gotta say Mike Richards comes off as a total D-BAG in interviews. Philly Phans am I right about this or what?
Carey Price – G (Mon): So I’ve literally had 2 trade offers on the table for Carey Price since Monday. The problem? I was the one who offered the trade. Yeah thanks for pitching a Shutout yesterday Price. There goes the buy-low opportunity…
Mike Cammalleri – LW (Mon): Call it a hunch, but I think last night’s Goal will be the start of a hot streak for Camm-Camm. He’s only 3 years overdue…
P.K. Subban – D (Mon): Starting to turn it on with a Goal and Assist last night and 5 Points in his last 5 games. I’m buying Subban in every league right now, he can still be a Top 10 fantasy Defenseman this year.
Tyler Myers – D (Buf): Hey Tyler! You’re here! Congrats on the 2 Goals last night! But you know the season started over 6 weeks ago right?
Steve Montador – D (Chi): El Montador is usually only useful in a pinch if you need Penalty minutes, but hold onto your sombrero’s. Look at what he’s done the last 4 Games: 4G/2A/+3/8SOG. I don’t think I need to tell you that won’t last…
Marian Hossa – RW (Chi): Is proving 2 things this year: A) He’s not done; and 2) Creepy looking dudes can be successful.
Ryan Kesler – C (Van): Kesler! KESLER! Dammit he’s still asleep. Something is going on here, and if I had to put a finger on it I’d put it on his (surgically repaired) hip. Not my finger though, that’d be gay.
Okay that’s it but don’t fret, I’ll talk to you tomorrow…
BONUS BET OF THE DAY: OVER/UNDER 71 POINTS FOR JAMES NEAL
