If you’ve never seen the movie ‘March of the Penguins’ then you probably have no idea just how hardcore real Penguins are. Let me just give you a little taste: “For an additional two months (after 2 months of courting, banging, and dealing with the pregnant female), the males huddle together on their Arctic ice patch for warmth, and incubate the egg. They endure temperatures approaching −62 °C (−80 °F), and their only source of water is snow that falls on the breeding ground. When the chicks hatch, the males have only a small meal to feed them, and if the female does not return, they must abandon their chick and return to the sea to feed themselves. By that time, they have lost half their weight and have not eaten for 4 months.” So toughen up SID, real Penguins are laughing at you…. As I step down from my nature soap box….. Sidney Crosby and Kris Letang returned last night and it couldn’t have gone better. Crosby had an Assist and Letang was a +5 with over 24 minutes of ice time. And honestly, it kind of makes me angry for those of you in a H2H league. There are probably a bunch of #4-6 seeds who have been sitting on these guys and now their team is a real threat to beat you. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: H2H fantasy playoffs are one step below a vengeful mistress… Not that I would know anything about that… Let’s just get to some fantasy hockey opinions, served up hot.
Martin Brodeur/J.S. Giguere – G (Ana/NJ): It was a flashback to the 2003 Stanley Cup Finals in just about every way. Brodeur got the Win but Jiggy got the MVP. Shootouts are shootouts… I love you Jiggy!
Scott Hartnell – LW (Phi): Fantasy monster, thy name is Hartnell. I still am grappling with the fact that I own him in both my important leagues this year and yet, both my team sucks. I mean the guy is #4 OVERALL in standard Yahoo rankings, which can mean only 1 thing: He’ll be overrated next season… Career year, thy name is Hartnell…
Cam Ward – G (Car): If I could sum up Cam Ward’s career in 1 word it would be “F*CK”. You know why? Because he is more than capable of Shutting out the top team in the NHL (like he did last night vs St. Louis), but he’ll also blow up your ratios on any given night. And don’t get me wrong, Cam Ward is a very good Goalie, and his end of season stats bear that out. BUTT, the path getting there makes Mordor seem like the yellow brick road. All too often Cam will crap the bed and leave you sleeping in it. And every once in a while you’ll decide to bench him (like say against the top team in the NHL) and he gets a 40 save Shutout.
Brian Campbell – D (Fla): I’ve been slow to mention Campbell’s great season and for that I apologize. But in my defense, I am very loyal to his line of chunky soups….
Oliver Ekman-Larsson – D (Phx): 20 years old. 6th overall pick 3 years ago. 3G/2A/+2/11SOG in his last 3 games. A hyphen in his last name. If you need some playoff D help see if OEL is asleep on your waiver wire. Oh and for guys like me who are already focused on 2012-2013: It’s beginning to smell alot like sleeper…
Toronto Maple Leafs – Hey Leaf fans, remember when you were like 8-2 or something crazy like that? Hahahahaha. Not even the genius Brian Burke can save your horrible franchise from the flesh-eating media scrutiny that is Toronto. Maybe back the frack off and let the team breathe a little? Ahhhhhh, h-e-double-hockey-sticks who am I kidding? I love it when the Leaf’s suck. And since I’ve only been a hockey fan for about 15 years I’ve seen alot of sucky hockey coming out of Toronto!
