If you are a guy like me you know about the Lingerie Football League. Hot chicks playing football in lingerie, sounds sweet right? Well it’s not. I watched a few minutes of an actual game tonight (MTV2 of all channels) and there is just something weird about it. Most of the girls are good looking but they are just way too into it. The announcers are way too into it too. At the end of the 1st half the clock ran out before they could get a play off, and these macho sounding announcers said: “If I’m a General Manager watching this I’m going into the locker room right now and telling the Coach he doesn’t need to come out for the 2nd half!” Really guy? You’re that wrapped up in this? Bottom line the whole production is odd and the TV product is not good spanktervision like you’d think it would be. So for all of you thinking of starting a Lingerie Hockey League, I would advise against it. Now lets peek at some players in the National Hockey League:
Carey Price – G (Mon): After a slow start to the season Price has only given up 2 Goals in Montreal’s last 2 games. His cumulative stats are still not good though, so see if you can get him for the right Price (HI-OOOOOOHHHH!) from an unsaavy owner.
Jason Pominville – RW (Buf): Alot has been written about Thomas Vanek this year (and with good reason) but what Jason Pominville is doing is much more surprising. 4 Goals and 9 Assists in just 9 games? 5 Power Play Points already? 4 years ago he had 80 Points which is where I’d put his ceiling so do with that information what you will.
Mike Brown – RW (Tor): Got 2/3rd’s of the way to the Gordie Howe hat trick with a Goal and a fight. Brown is in the FAGNOF category and if I ran the NHL I would require all fighters to have mustache’s like his.
Kimmo Timonen – D (Phi): 4 Assists on Thursday in that crazy 9-8 game against Winnipeg (BTW did anyone watch this game? Did the Goalies have to play facing the net or something?). I’ve had a few inquiries about possibly dropping Timonen and the answer is no. 35 Assists and a handful of Goals is what he does and you can use that at your #3/4 D spot..
Wayne Simmonds – RW (Phi): So Philly scores 8 Goals and Simmonds has zero points. As Grey would say, Ticker Tease!
Winnipeg Jets – I have no idea where 9 Goals came from, but outside of Dustin Byfuglien and Tobias Enstrom I still don’t think I’d want any of these guys on my team. Not one forward has really established himself (over multiple years) to be a reliable fantasy asset.
Chris Kunitz – LW (Pit): Doesn’t his last name make you think of the C word that my wife says I can’t say? Not that I think Kunitz is one, but I’m not a big fan of his. Yes he gets power play minutes but after 48 games missed the last 2 seasons he can’t be trusted.
Dmitry Kulikov – D (Fla): Is getting alot of Power Play minutes and in the last 3 games has 4 Assists and 10 Shots on Goal. Plus for the season he’s an amazing (for a Panther) +2. He’s only 12% owned so if you’re looking for D help DKK might be available for nothing.
Steven Stamkos – C (TB): 2 Goals on Thursday gives him 5 in his last 5. This is what he does. And like I said in the preseason if I had to bet money on 1 guy to score 50 Goals this year it’s Stamkos.
Dany Heatley – LW/RW (Min): Starting to show signs of life with a modest 3 game point streak. I hope for my sake this little streak lasts through the season cuz I was high on Heatley in the preseason.
Slava Voynov – D (LA): Always on the lookout for Defenseman but I don’t think Voynov’s 2 Goals on Thursday is the start of anything big. Once Doughty gets back Voynov loses big time minutes.
Cam Ward – G (Car): Shutout the Blackhawks last night and in his last 6 games is 4-2/.951SV%/1.86GAA. Gettin on track…
Henrik Zetterberg – C/LW (Det): Notched just his 2nd Goal of the year last night and is a great buy-low candidate. 38 Shots in 8 games proves (to me anyway) that his luck is going to turn around soon.
Devan Dubnyk – G (Edm): 40 Saves and a win. A nice night for Double D and here’s an interesting stat Craig Button tweeted after the game: The Oiler’s have allowed 1 Goal or less in 7 of their 10 games. Dubnyk is officially the WW Goalie flavor of the week.
Jarome Iginla – RW (Cgy): This slow start has me worried.. Damn you Iginla! I believed in you! I BELIEVED!
Alright everyone, enjoy your Friday post Saturday and the next time you hear from me will be the glorious day of candy, drinking, and women dressing like whores!